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Gauging Responsiveness & Insensitivity-Happy Couples Score Well

Psychology Today November/December 2021 pp48-49 “Does Your Partner Truly Care?” “How to gauge responsiveness and sensitivity in your partner” By Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D.


Read Psychology Today for all the detail


Summary by 2244







The author of this article, Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., cites work by Dev Crasta and colleagues in Canandaigua, New York (Veteran’s Affairs). They developed a test to evaluate both partner responsiveness and insensitivity as “this is the process through which you and your partner react in supportive ways…” “Couples with high levels of…responsiveness are more likely to engage in self-disclosure, allow their emotional vulnerability to show and communicate greater levels of gratitude, trust and support toward each other.”


The test is scored on 15 items, the first eight about responsiveness and the remaining seven about insensitivity. The scale is (0) not at all to (5) completely. In Crasta’s study study participants had most responsiveness scores between 2.4 and 4.7 with an average “slightly over 3.5.” Most insensitivity scores ranged between 0 and 2 with an average “just under 1.”


“In general…people scoring well…were more likely to be satisfied in their relationship, to feel their partner was emotionally supportive, and to rate as lower any hostile behaviors by their partner during times of conflict.”


Fill in the blank with a current or past partner’s name


  1. Blank really listens to me

  2. Blank seems interested in what I am thinking and saying

  3. Blank is understanding

  4. Blank tries to see where I’m coming from

  5. Blank is attentive to my needs

  6. Blank is responsive to my needs

  7. Blank takes my concerns seriously

  8. Blank really gets my point of view

  9. Blank does not accept my feelings and concerns

  10. Blank dismisses my concerns too easily

  11. Blank sees to ignore the things that are more important to me

  12. Blank does not really understand my wants and needs

  13. Blank does not really take my concerns seriously

  14. Blank often really does not hear what I am saying

  15. When I’m feeling worried or stressed about something, it only makes things worse to tell blank about it


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