Psychology Today May/June 2021 pp53-59 “Laws of Emotional Mastery” “Mental health doesn’t just happen. Like physical fitness, it takes effort. Three principles spell the difference between just surviving and outright thriving”. By Norm Shpancer, Ph.D. (Otterbein University, Westerville, Ohio)
Image from learningcog.com
Read the article for all detail.
Highlighted Points
“Think accurately”
“Bad thoughts-racism is one-have caused more damage than bad viruses. And they’re harder to eradicate.”
“Neither Deny nor Obey Emotions-Accept Them.”
“Those who cannot tolerate acute temporary discomfort now condemn themselves to chronic suffering later.”
“Emotions are good consultants but lousy CEOs. Consider their input but don’t let them take charge.”
“Tolerate Short-Term Pain to Avert Long-Term Suffering.”
Summary provided by 2244
Great quote “Life is like a diamond-hard and beautiful”
To be successful in dealing with hard times depends on the “practice of proper mind management” so mental health is really “something you do.” Doing mind management well is “characterized by psychological flexibility-the ability to recognize and adjust your mindset and behavior”…allowing you to keep aligned with your “values and pursue worthy goals in the face of distractions and obstacles.” Skills needed include thinking accurately, sorting out your biases, be they naturally positive or negative or engrained, and considering carefully the facts or truths of the situation at hand in a controlled way. How might one systematically approach challenges? The author, Norm Shpancer, suggests learning to prompt oneself “What am I telling myself right now?” “What else may be going on?” “What else might happen?” “What else can I tell myself here?” “Which of these thoughts would I bet my life on, if I had to?” Then “choose the thought that is supported by the best evidence.”
As it turns out, mental distress “emerges not from emotional experience itself but from errors in emotion regulation-mistakes in handling the data.” So, we should accept emotions and include them with other data in decision-making for action. Otherwise, we may begin to withdraw-avoid experiences and interactions necessary for success and good mental health. After all, “Life is an obstacle course” and avoidance brings only quick and temporary relief but overdependence on emotion in the dataset may cause us to rely on “distorted, partial or biased information.” Being human we are best served by engaging with others, seeking diverse input when possible. By addressing our emotions, in this way, we can choose the best action and find that “emotions are action driven.” “The fastest, most reliable way to change how you feel is by changing what you do.”
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