CNBC “A psychologist says these 7 skills separate successful kids from the ones who struggle’-and how the parents can teach them” By Michele Borba Saturday April 16th 2022 10:30 AM EDT
Read or watch CNBC for all the detail
Summary by 2244
As an educational psychologist the author learned a very important lesson: “Thrivers are made, not born.” Michele Borba notes that “Children need safe, loving and structured childhoods, but they also need autonomy, competence and agency to flourish.” Borba has identified seven skills that kids need to “boost mental toughness, resilience, social competence, self-awareness and social competence…”
Self-confidence
Self-confidence, for all of us at any age, comes from “doing well, facing obstacles, creating solutions and snapping back” on our own. When you fix your kid’s problems you are essentially telling then that you “don’t believe” in their ability. So stop “hovering, snowplowing and rescuing.”
Empathy
Most of us don’t know this but empathy has three parts; affective empathy-”when we share another’s feelings, and feel their emotions,” behavioral empathy, “when empathic concern rallies us to act with compassion;” and cognitive empathy, “when we understand another’s thoughts or step into their shoes.”
What can we teach kids about empathy?
Outloud label emotions like “You’re happy!” “You seem upset.”
Ask your child how they feel. “How did that make you feel?” Let your children know that emotions are normal but “How we choose to express them is what can get us in trouble.”
Share feelings. “I didn’t sleep much so I’m irritable.”
Notice others and point out what you see in others faces and body language. “How do you think that man feels?” “Have you ever felt that way?”
Self Control
A key success factor is being able to control your “attention, emotions, thoughts, actions and desires.” How to teach, use signals like “ringing a bell or verbal cues” when your child is beginning to lose focus. Examples are “Pencils down, eyes up” “Ready to listen?” “If you’re mad, count to 10 before you answer.”
Integrity
“Integrity is a set of learned beliefs, capacities, attitudes and skills that create a moral compass to know and do what’s right.” Praise ethical behavior when you see it. An example “That showed integrity because you refused to pass on the gossip.”
Curiosity
“Curiosity is the recognition, pursuit and desire to explore novel, challenging and uncertain events.” Help teach by providing “open-ended toys…give them paint” and paper etc. Ask children to think on their own by asking “What do you think?” “How do you know?” “How can you find out?”
Perseverance
“Perseverance helps kids keep on when everything else makes it easier to give up.” To teach, don't let your kids “catastrophize their problem.” Mention the idea of breaking what seems like a big problem into smaller parts.
Optimism
Focus on being optimistic versus being pessimistic Try and be an example by being glass half full versus half empty.
Comentarios