Psychology Today July/August 2021 pp20-21 Solutions Self-Talk| Are You Too Hard On Yourself” “You may be more critical of yourself than you realize” By Alice Boyes, Ph.D.
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It’s normal to have some self-evaluation but avoid being be too hard on yourself. “To give yourself a reality check” the author of the article cites “seven types of negative self-judgement.”
“You beat yourself up over mistakes that have minimal consequences.” Set a reasonable threshold of time or money value below which you just let mistakes slide. Old adage is don’t sweat the little stuff
“After correcting a mistake you keep criticizing yourself.” We all make mistakes, try and think of ways to avoid the same error again and move on.
“Your self-care is continually bumped off your to-do list in favor of other priorities.” If you find yourself repeatedly putting off an important self-care activity then “allow yourself the time, money or mental space you need.”
“When someone treats you poorly, you find a way to interpret it as your fault.” “If you currently take 100% of the responsibility when things go wrong” try taking 50% of the responsibility and “proceed from there.”
“You always go the extra mile.” Old adage as well don’t let great get in the way of good.” The author notes that “This pattern may stem from imposter syndrome; you fear that you must be excessively conscientious, otherwise your flaws will be revealed and your life will unravel.” You will find that you can handle minor errors.
“You feel like a failure, even though you mostly have your life together.” Focus on all that “you do right” and not on all the imperfections that you alone see clearly.
“You see the ‘dumb’ mistake of others as understandable, but not your own.” Resolve this tendency by evaluating whether or not you would think the mistake was understandable if it happened to “someone you like and respect.”
Following these reality checks will make you feel better but more importantly “being less self-critical can also help you make better decisions and waste less time and emotional energy, which in turn will make you more productive.”
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